inward ⇌ outward

i have two bodies of work going on right now that use similar elements but their source of inspirations comes from two different but interconnected places. headscapes pulls from my internal world and to the source pulls from the world around me. 

i was in the studio last night working for the first time in a while. i had been craving it, oh how i’d been craving it. while i was working, i got to the point where the watercolor was dry and i was at a loss as to what to do next. had i forgotten how to do it? had it really been that long? i found myself looking around my studio looking for inspiration at a loss. i started laughing at myself because realized i had been working on my other series that pulls inspiration from my surroundings – can’t do that when it is just me… no, i have to pull my inspiration from within. with headscapes, i am the source. 

i have a tendency to try to distance myself from my work, to look at it from an objective perspective like a psychologist unpacking a clients narrative. i’ve had goals in the past where i tell myself i need to be more vulnerable with my work – i’m not sure that i am but last night i came to terms that my work is about me. directly or indirectly, it’s all about me. 

honestly the relationship between headscapes and to the source is so intertwined with my philosophy of the exchange between what’s inside us and what’s around us. we are constantly absorbing and taking in from our external world and process it. for me, it’s a two way street. Through processing we internalize it and mark it with our own experiences and emotions and eventually put it back out into the world. input ⇌ output.

it’s funny because i just got a tattoo to symbolize this. it’s inspired by the reversible reaction where each side of the equation is trying to balance each other out to achieve equilibrium. i guess that is really what my art is trying to do make my internal world exchange and balance out what’s around me.